they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
