But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
