i don't plan on having that self control this summer
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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