so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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