he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize