Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
