Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
