she smelled like a LAN party
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
