Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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