im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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