My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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