I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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