Ambien. No doubt about it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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