the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
