her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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