You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
