hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
