butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
