your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
