If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
