I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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