thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
