I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Verdict: uncircumcised.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
