how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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