As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
