i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
