So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize