ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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