do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
In America we eat man semen.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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