haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
