Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
