If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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