i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
