Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
