I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
