It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have post one night stand depression
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