So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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