Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
