we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
