Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Enjoy the penises
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize