i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
