so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
