you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
