that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
