You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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