I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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