K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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