If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize