They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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