Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
