i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
