this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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