my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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