Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
