maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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