apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
