We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just puked most of my soul out..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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