you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he was CRYING into my vagina
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
two words...techno handjob
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
