Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
