I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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