New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
