You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
